Religion had become my way of resigning to not thinking for myself.

The self doubt religion creates in the independent mind is to force submission. Taught to doubt yourself and let the brainwashing begin.

Expected to be predictable for the comfort of those who fear living. The mental chastening at the initiation of an original thought from the perpetrator. Perpetrator in their eyes.

Shared ideas for genuine feedback met with a systematic dismantling of independent thinking.

Playing within the confines of religious expectation, you come to realize the rules only apply to the individual in subjection; not to the authority. This is not freedom.

Control takes precedence over love, and dogma is the tool. The constant that keeps the people in line. Religion.

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Posted by on December 12, 2019 in Poetry


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Stay Present

Stay present, keep your mind from meaningless wondering the strife engulfed riddle of the unknown

Forget the unknoweable, look for understanding trust the process dont give into childish feelings, but find joy in accepting the truth about nature.

Nature and what is seen gives the meaning in simplistic guidance, if you look for sound reasoning, believe in evidence. Suspend judgment until then

Find the path you choose to walk, but if you want peace live in the present, you are not going to be the one to figure it all out. Humanities understanding is cumulative and you are a part.

Stay present and take action.

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Posted by on December 11, 2019 in Poetry


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Is God a Narcissist?

Is a relationship with god a narcissistic one? Does god get his fuel by controlling peoples minds that he gave?

The ultimate skull fuck to create and give a nature in opposition and then punish the finite mind that doesn’t understand

I don’t buy it, but it took a long time to see. Looking around at others suffering and doing mental gymnastics to somehow convince ourselves it wont happen to me.

Why not accept the random and give up the comforting facade we mistake as assurance and allow ourselves to see clearly.

Now is what matters, our friends, our families, dont waste time, you dont know how much time we have.

Dont waste it causing division between your loved ones and judging the things in them that you know are natural and human. Let the anger go, open your heart to love those around you without fear.

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Posted by on December 10, 2019 in Poetry


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Be a good person

Be a good person, no need for reward, find the truth of being without needing recompense.

Just be a good person, dont worry about philosophy or what its supposed to mean.

Life is meaningful enough if you live it. Analyzing constantly to figure out how others think is futile and a protective mechanism.

You dont need meditation you need presence and awareness. Be part of the moment without thinking you have to pay attention or something will pass you by.

The only thing your missing is now.

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Posted by on November 20, 2019 in Uncategorized


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We think we will find the answers by painfully searching our heart and soul for answers.

We seek answers in books and quotes, we speak and pour out hoping for healing.

It is distracting for awhile, an escape from our entertainment thirsty reality.

We have to learn to love the quiet moments, to not give in to the minds constant pleading. To rest in ourselves and pull back all our perceived obligations and focus on what matters the most.

We cant heal ourselves without vulnerability.

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Posted by on November 3, 2019 in Poetry


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Why are you living in fear?

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Posted by on November 2, 2019 in Control



I’m Alone

I’m alone, the questions I ask aren’t answered the silent treatment is unbearable. The open communication seems to cause more pain

I fear the pain it will cause my kids. But then I think, I wouldn’t know. Would it be better for them to not have the melodrama that is me?

Is there light? Is there peace anywhere, is it possible to stop fearing, is there a way to give up insecurity?

When I think it’s gone, it comes back and wreaks havoc on my loved ones. Is there a cure for my self hatred? Is there a way to see clearly?

Is it possible to share closeness with another? To let down all guards and be loved? Is it possible or are we just cursed to continue to distance ourselves from each other?

Are we cursed to be part of the play? To sit alone in the silence of our minds eye watching the fleeting fears and thoughts pass by?

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Posted by on October 17, 2019 in Poetry


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Hearing then applying the way others want you to think. This is a problem

Waiting for others to teach you what to think with the promise that it will apply to all you think and insulate you from pain.

Someone will always be better than you. Someone will always beat you. The wounded ego raises up when offended. The fear that someone will take what’s mine.

Fear that others will see that I’m worthless. This is not the way to think. There is value in being a human being. Our precious dreams and visions cause us pain.

Refusing to love because of fear, to mold the mind to hate it, to hate love.

To hate the ones who cause stress, understanding our instincts and being aware of them can help self control, but never think knowing the instincts or motives of others will ever grant you control over them.

It’s a bottomless pit. You cant control others even the ones who intentionally push you. You can ask them to leave you alone, but only lose control over you if you let go of the offense.


Posted by on October 15, 2019 in Poetry


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What Is Hope?

I don’t know what hope is, but I know there is a power that comes with it that seems to align things in my favor when I don’t give up. Hope seems to know when the things I’m engaging in are wearing at my soul. Hope brings me back to my center.

I wish it was made clear so that I could rest in it. Maybe I’m scared of losing approval from others. Most complain, I’ve slowly become jaded and pessimistic; comfortable. I don’t want to be like this. I’ve lost my filter, and it is hard for me to keep my mouth shut especially with disingenuous people who manipulate with their words.

My negative attitude is getting me in trouble, but I feel like I don’t know how to care. I stop myself from loving too much out of fear of manipulation. The people who have picked at my soul make me want to crush their soul with my words.

The ones who have taken advantage of my yes, and take the upper hand when you are not in your element. The ones who exploit others, and take them captive with lies and promises.

To hope is to find yourself and to stay yourself in the midst of this struggle of ebb and flow…give and take. To trust the self that isn’t fearful and to understand that this then takes on the appearance of the divine. An energy flows that feeds and gives hope.

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Posted by on October 3, 2019 in Poetry


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Open My Heart

Will I ever know the truth? Will I ever know if there truly is or isn’t a god or a spiritual reality? Many experiences in my life have indicated yes at times,and yet other things have shown to be random chance. The balance between being present and daydreaming.

I don’t need a promise of eternity, I just want to know that I’m not alone. I want to know if I am missing something. I want to know that love matters. I want to know that I can open my heart up. What can soothe this dilemma?

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Posted by on October 3, 2019 in Poetry


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