I felt like I had been making a lot of progress as an atheist, not believing helped me to feel more balanced, much more reasonable, and logical. It felt like a relief not believing in all the make believe shit. I told my wife that “If there is a higher being it knows what I need to believe, but that I could never go back to Christianity.” I didn’t have a clue what I needed either, but I was okay with accepting the unknown. I was used to having to be the one with the answers. Suddenly there was no one to evangelize, and no personal responsibility for being the mouth piece of god and saving other people’s souls. Somebody’s salvation was no longer dependent upon me sharing my faith at just the right time.
My mind got super clear after this epiphany and I started finding joy in learning about our universe. Although I always loved science, I was always trying to filter it through my old christian religious views and this would often cause a lot of internal turmoil. I always felt that a higher power, if it existed, would have to be far beyond our minds and our means to conceptualize this consciousness. My openness created a passion for learning again. So one morning I woke up and saw the youtube video suggestions on my phone, one was a documentary on quantum physics hosted by a world renowned Physicist Brian Greene. I was amazed at how much goes on in the unseen world, and how the unseen has had a profound impact on technology. I was also amazed to see that for every “law” in physics there seems to be an exception.
I was particularly mind-boggled by “entanglement” of particles, and the implications of quantum computers, and possible quantum travel. This all sounded like sci-fi and is almost completely hidden from our five senses. These were only things crazy people talked about a little over 150 years ago. Maybe not even that long ago.
I continued to be intrigued and continued to watch science videos. My next one among many others was a planet documentary by NOVA, hosted by Neil Degrasse Tyson. It was your typical documentary, but what stood out to me is a man that Neil mentioned named Giordano Bruno, he lived back in the 1500s and apparently he theorized about the planets orbiting around the sun and that the universe was infinite. This was before the telescope was used by galileo. Its said that he came to these conclusions from a vision that he had. Neil then says “Lucky guess!” Then Neil goes on to share that this man was tried for heresy by the catholic church and then burnt at the stake. I remembered hearing about astral projection when I was a kid and briefly looked it up again.
I also watched a documentary on Tesla, and he also had several visions throughout his lifetime. I later learned that Thomas Edison used to meditate to find the answers for some of his inventions as well. I continued my interest in the possibility of Astral projection from a scientific perspective and partially based on the idea that in quantum physics they talk about multiple universes that are parallel to us and that theoretically we could exist in multiple different dimensions parallel to us simultaneously in different energy forms. I would recommend the books Fabric of the Cosmos and Elegant Universe by Brian Greene for a firmer grasp on the concepts.
As I further read about Astral projection, it just seemed too far fetched to even consider, and so I placed it in the category of cool mind tricks that I could learn to do and have some fun since I had heard people who project can visit anywhere they want to go and control my dreams so I figured why not? It could be fun, and maybe even relieve some of my stress. I could go to Hawaii! I looked up some techniques and figured out that it is basically keeping your mind awake as your body falls asleep.
I tried for 3 days and nothing happened. On the fourth day I relaxed and right as I was about to fall asleep, I said this is it and I sat up in my bed. I felt this buzzing go through my whole body and my hands were see through. I had heard you can see your body too so I turned to look and I didn’t see my body and as I thought “wheres my body?, an outline appeared on my bed, and then I went into unconscious dreaming. I started to briefly think “maybe it is possible to project my consciousness into energy and that this is actually happening, but I take my thoughts with a grain of salt and continued to consider it a mind trick. The next day I was pumped, but it took me 3 weeks to have my next experience.
Prior to this next experience I was trying pretty much every day and getting frustrated because I wanted to experience it again. I was starting to have several dreams that seemed to be more lucid so I started writing in a dream journal as suggested by a group that I connected with after my first experience to ask questions. They were getting really coincidental too. Like I would dream something come down stairs and my kids would ask me to do something I was doing in my dream. These experiences shocked me, and I consider myself to be very grounded, and I do not trust my emotions or thoughts as the test for what is true. This was not the direction my life was heading either. I was trying to make my life more simple not complex, so these things caused a lot of tension at first. I was getting discouraged too, because I couldn’t make it happen again.
During the 3 weeks prior to the second time I had a dream that I was trying to get to a basketball game that I was playing in at 4am, and I was struggling to get there on time. Then my dream switched to a guy in front of a house jumping around yelling at me ” come on, astral project!” When I woke up I immediately knew it was an indication that I needed to try at 4am. The answer just popped into my mind. I had been trying at night and just kept falling asleep. Now keep in mind that it took me a week to do this because I doubted it. But I decided to just believe that maybe my subconscious mind was listening to my desire and telling me how, but it was all still just in my head.
Finally, I decided to try. I set an alarm and woke up at 4am went down stairs laid on the couch watched some astral projection videos and began to meditate. It took about an hour, my first took 4 hours and was exhausting. So when I projected I said “I did It!” All the sudden I was standing in my house, but I felt weak almost like I didn’t project enough energy and consciousness, and I know that doesn’t really sound reasonable to some, but that’s my conclusion. Before I projected I had wanted to see if I could go to my dad’s house and then see if I could tell him what he was doing. Its weird when I came out of body like I said I felt weak and I only had half of my field of vision. I almost felt drunk and briefly thought “Oh shit I had a stroke.” Lol! I quickly realized I was projecting I said that I wanted to see better and my vision improved. Again I couldn’t remember what I wanted to do so I just thought ” I want to fly.” I immediately was parallel to the floor and about three feet in the air. I said in my head, “I want to go out of my house!” I put my arms straight out and just bumped into the wall. Then I switched into a dream that I was telling my wife what happened.
Meditation (not in the religious sense), and my projection experiences have had a very positive impact on my life and I look forward to more experiences. I would not have been open to them had I not given up my fundamental christian views. And maybe this was the answer I was looking for that seemed unanswerable with words, and exists without the confines of fear based religion. Meditation benefits have actually been scientifically shown to have many benefits for the practitioner. I won’t go there with the astral projection though, that is something that needs to be experienced to believe, and is possible for anyone.